Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I've given no thought to this whatsoever

I have only five seconds of freedom today, and I'm going to spend it on a rant.

Who writes children's books? I really, really want to know. Because if you gave me just five seconds to write a poem, I could do better than almost anything I've found so far, at least for the soft-sided ones designed for babies.

Below are the contents of the most recent insult, purchased because it's made of cloth and small (3 x 3) so she won't keep hitting herself in the face with it like she does the bigger ones. She also will sit up with this one and flip the little foam pages as if analyzing its design. Anyway:

Elephant is big.
Elephant is strong.
The jungle shakes
As he tramps along.
But I think you'll find
He's gentle and kind.

Hmph.

Now I'm mad because they made me waste my five minutes.

1 comment:

Katy said...

I bet you could write really good childrens' books. I would totally buy them. I mean really, how does the author know whether the kid will ever meet an elephant? And is it really safe to tell the kid that it will be gentle and kind, in case they ever do come across one? What if it's upset? Stupid kid book.