A family from Montana, living in Senegal and adopting a baby from Ethiopia
Monday, March 3, 2008
There's nothing new and no adoption progress to report, but nonetheless, we're getting ready to go! Francie actually loves to be in the baby carrier. And isn't it the prettiest design ever? She hangs out and looks around while I make dinner or clean the house. (That's right. Both times.) She likes being in the middle of things, I think.
I try not to think about the adoption, and I sometimes manage to pull back into this very quiet, patient person, but then if I look at the photos too much or watch our stupid 41-second video of her more than 18 times in a row, I start to literally feel sick to my stomach. My friend said she felt the same way, and next thing she knew she was in Africa with her baby and then it was over before she knew it and now none of it matters.
This must be true. At any rate, it is an interesting little study in Buddha Mind and of the truth that our suffering is directly determined by our resistance to not getting our way. I see that. Totally. But I don't care! I choose impatience! I choose suffering! I want my way!!
I think it might be very telling that there is no news and nothing has changed or developed for three weeks, and yet every day I have a different emotion about it. How can that be?